In other (Weekly World) news

Saddam Can't Be Killed

A monkey wrench has been thrown into Coalition plans to give Saddam Hussein a fair trial for crimes against humanity then speedily execute him. It turns out the former Iraqui leader sold his soul to Satan in exchange for eternal life - and he can't be killed!
...
"As a test, we slipped enough cyanide into his breakfast to kill a bull elephant. He ate the whole thing and experienced no ill effects. In fact, he patted his belly and told his jailers 'My compliments to the chef. Your famous grits are truly delicious.' "

Oh, but that's not all. In a sidebar:

President Bush's national security advisors are racking their brains for a solution to the dillemma. "One proposal is to fake Saddam's execution and then bury him alive," the insider reveals. "The concern there is that Baath Party loyalists might locate the hidden grave and dig him up."

-- Story and photo, Weekly World News. May 10, 2004