I want to give them my money

Kafkaesque confirms for me that the problem isn't just with contractors (and car dealers!) in North Carolina; it happens in Southern California, too:

" I want to give these people my money, because frankly I'm too pretty and weak to remove cement myself, but they won't take it. I've called them repeatedly, and been assured that they are all ready to go with the job, and then they never call back. I can't figure it out. I want to give them my money."

Luckily, we moved into a brand new house in December, so we haven't had to replace anything on it yet. But before that, in our last house, we were constantly replacing trim boards, crappy masonite siding and various other rottables. Replace some boards in the spring and by fall, another set has rotted out (or become food for carpenter bees); by spring another set has rotted out and the ones you replaced last spring have begun to rot because the gutters were re-installed wrong and water was getting trapped against the wood, etc.. The trim cycle stops for no man.

Every time we had to get work done, we'd find a new handyman in the phone book (because the last one was shit), leave a message "Hi, my name is Cleek and I need someone to fix a few trim boards", and then we'd wait; 80% of the time, he'd never call back. So, we'd call another one, and another one, none of them returning our calls, until we finally found a guy who seemed really eager to do the job. "Yeah man! Sounds good! I can fit you in next Thursday!" Hooray! Finally, someone interested in our money!

Wednesday night, he'd call and postpone our job for another day because his current job is taking longer than he expected. Then he'd show up Friday, an hour late, looking hungover and desperate for another cigarette. He'd start working, go for a few hours before telling us he has to leave to go finish this other job and that he'll have to finish us tomorrow morning. So we've got a bunch of unpainted boards nailed to our house, or big chunks of siding on the ground and who knows when it's going to be fixed, because half the time he blows us off again and comes back Tuesday morning, whining about how much time he's spending on a job as small as our's. "Heh, I shouldn't really take these small jobs anymore. I only take them to fill up holes in my schedule, but it seems they always take more time to get to and setup than it does to do the work! Haha!" No, ya prick, it's because you underestimate every job you take; and then you start late and waste time driving between the one you just started and the one you need to finish, instead of just showing up on time and finishing them as fast as you can. Organize your damnfool self!

If I ever find a decent, reliable handyman, I'm gonna send him cookies every Christmas and a case of beer every July 4^th.