The $30 paragraph

Scot at Izzle! Izzle pfaff! muses about flying to Utah. In the middle, he writes:

It doesn't help that I'm going to fucking Utah, the boxy state that fails even in its geometric imperative towards Platonic boxiness. This is a state that got out-rhomboided by Wyoming, for Christ's sake. WYOMING! Here's a gerund of a state, which is just pathetic, and yet it eats Utah's Platonic lunch.

Counting the five dollar words, that's a $30 paragraph - in my estimation. Not only that, I fucking love it. I wish I thought myself capable of coming up with a phrase like "a gerund of a state". Damn you Scot. Damn you all to Utah.