Cleek has moved to
Update your treasure maps accordingly.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

The Grift of the Magi

Via The Panda's Thumb, an amazing discovery: Magi Astrology!

You see, these folks have proved that "Darwinism" is a hoax, because :

    Darwinism is based on the premise that parents who have the greatest ability to survive have this advantage because of their genes and they will usually pass on this advantage to their children because the children inherit the parents’ genes. But if parents cannot pass on such advantages to their children, then Darwinism cannot work.

    We will prove on this website that our children’s special abilities are not the result of the parents’ genes but rather is due to the children being blessed enough to be born during special planetary alignments. Therefore parents cannot pass on their advantages to their children. This breaks the Darwinian chain of events necessary for Darwinism to work. Therefore, Darwinism is wrong and false.

Wow, Magi Astrology is sweet. But what are genes for, then?

    Our genes determine that we are human beings as opposed to being a cat, dog or any other species. But our natal chart tells us how we differ from other members of our species, especially in terms of our personality, likes, dislikes, preferences and our relative abilities and talents.

    To put it another way, it is our genes that make us human beings rather than dogs, cats or some bird. But it is our astrological natal chart that tells us what kind of human being we are most likely to be and what abilities we are blessed with. Genes will determine some of our personal physical attributes like the color of our eyes, hair and skin. But our natal chart gives us accurate signs about the type of person we are most likely to be - whether we will be submissive or aggressive, artistic or logical, etc.

    Our natal chart will give us reliable signs about our special abilities and talents - for example, the stars can foretell if we can be great musicians or athletes, or math geniuses or great writers. Even though scientists claim otherwise, Genetics simply will not tell us what special talents we are blessed with.

Hmmm. I guess that makes sense. Sounds pretty powerful, this astrology stuff. Can it do anything else?

Of course it can! You can use it to do stock predictions! Wow!

So, where did this amazing science develop?

    The Magi Society began as a secret society in China and remained a secret society until 1995 when it published its first book, Astrology Really Works!

Ah. So, Chinese astrologers can give me stock tips, personal advice and tell me how to improve my love life just based on the positions of planets? Yep. If only JFK Jr or Merck or John Kerry knew about this magical science !

Unfortunately, the special software required to do all this is not free, and doesn't even have a set price: it's available for between $43 and $350, and you have to send them email and discuss it before they'll even sell it to you.


All images Copyright 2004-2005, cleek.