Cleek has moved to
Update your treasure maps accordingly.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Advice to his 16 year old self

Jeff VanderMeer has a list of things he'd tell his 16 year old self (if he could go back in time). I liked this one:

    There's going to be a really bad typo in your swords-and-sorcery story in the school literary magazine ('the musty smell of countless ages' without the 'o' in 'countless'). Don't sweat it. These things happen. Maybe it was intentional by the typesetter, maybe not. But you'll never be able to prove it.

Hmm... let me try:

  1. When you go hunting with Bobby, driving there in his huge old Olds with one speaker missing (which takes a lot of the fun out of Led Zeppelin II's ping-ponging guitars), and you walk over the top of that hill to find yourself standing in the middle of Moreau State Park, and get arrested for it, don't worry - juvenile records are sealed! And it'll be a long time before you see the inside of a courthouse again.

  2. OK, Christine was arright. But the girl you'll meet in a few years will set you spinning. So don't worry about it when Christine dumps you for the guy with the car.

  3. Save your allowance and buy some Microsoft stock. Yes, they're the people who wrote the silly BASIC interpreter for your Commodore C64, but they'll get better!

  4. The Cure. You'll really like them next year - might as well start now.

  5. Pay more attention to your mom. She might be a hassle sometimes, but she won't be around forever.

  6. No, lifting weights won't slow you down; so quit with the excuses and don't be a lazy shit. Joe V. and Matt L. are gonna come back next spring and crush you in the 400m - and they'll have done a summer's worth of squats.

  7. RIT. That's the one. Don't worry about all those other schools. You'll get into all of them, but you don't need to apply. Lots of good things come from choosing RIT.

  8. A few years from now, when you move out of the apartment to get away from the slobs, don't leave your stuff there thinking you'll come back for it later (remember all those pictures you had of your Hawaii trip, from when you were ten ?). It won't be there.

  9. When riding your bike home, pay attention to the intersection at Quaker and Ridge - yes, you'll live in Glens Falls next year, but that's a different story - pay attention to that intersection and don't go through it until the old woman in the Buick turns first!

  10. At Matt L's graduation party, you might want to take it easy on the wine. Waking up in a marinade of warm white wine and masticated partially-digested baked ziti is not as much fun as it sounds.

All images Copyright 2004-2005, cleek.