Top Thirty Facts About Chuck Norris
- #10: If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
#11: Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Go read them all, now.
The MR T version is good, too:
- #2: Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
#29: Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Oh, and the Vin Diesel one is good, as well:
- #4: There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.
#7: When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Vin Diesel.
#38: Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.