Top Thirty Facts About Chuck Norris

#10: If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

#11: Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Go read them all, now.

The MR T version is good, too:

#2: Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

#29: Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

Oh, and the Vin Diesel one is good, as well:

#4: There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.

#7: When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Vin Diesel.

#38: Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.